There are days that you wish you could hit rewind and just redo the whole thing over, because there is just no doubt that with another opportunity, it would have turned out better. That happened today.
To start with, I woke up with a migraine. The migraine actually woke me up. And it was no joke. It held me to the bed and required that my head remain perfectly still and my eyes shut. The issue was, in order to get ready for Jude's baseball game, I would need to open my eyes and get out of the bed. So I did, but not without consequences. As moms we just do these things because, well, that's what moms do. We work through pain. We work through vomiting. And that's what I did. Thank God, by the time we left for the game, my migraine medicine kicked in.
My head, still a bit of a mushy mess, drove us to the ball game, the first game of the World Series. Upon arrival, a natural disaster type of rain let go of its hold on the sky and made its way down to the baseball fields. We stood there in the rain and waited, and waited and waited a little bit longer until the game before ours could resume. Once that game continued with play, we began to set up our things and our boys went off to warm up with their coaches. That is when Coach approached me about keeping the books. I don't mind keeping the books. It's not my favorite thing in the world, but I don't mind it, so I said yes. (And this is the part of the day that I'd rewind to and push redo.)
Finally, after the rain delay and the completion of the game before ours, our game clock started. I marked every strike, every ball, every pitch, every hit, every out, and every time a runner would score, I'd fill in the diamond to signify a run. We lost our first game. Our hitting wasn't what it normally is, but those kind of games happen.
The second game was a nail biter. It stayed tied almost the entire game. They'd score two runs, then we'd score 2 runs. They'd score, then we'd score. I think we were in the 5th inning when the coach came by and asked me the score and I said, "5-6. Them." Well, that prompted the ump to visit the fence and he said, "No. I've got 5-7." I looked down at the book and counted again and counted 7 runs. Agreeing with the ump I said, "OK, so I was wrong. They have 7 runs. We have 5." Everyone around me thought the other team had 6 runs and wondered how they had missed a run and I said, "Well, I just counted 7 and the ump has 7, so we didn't miss it."
We went on to score a run, but fell short, loosing the game 6-7. The coaches met on the mound, signed the score cards and moved on to talk to the boys. Later, Josh called and said that the coach went back and recounted the runs in the book. I had made a mistake counting. The other team had only scored 6 runs. I had 6 diamonds filled in on the books. When prompted by the ump, in my haste, I somehow miscounted and gave the other team an extra run. Our boys had tied that game, but my mistake gave them a loss, and now their record reflects it.
I know that it's only a game. I also know that they are not professional athletes. They are 9 year olds playing little league baseball. But I'd be so very selfish to minimize the mistake without recognizing the effort that everyone put into this tournament. The boys spent hours upon hours practicing this past week for this very day. Coaches spent their own time, without pay, teaching our boys in preparation for the game. Parents spent hundreds of dollars on tournament fees, uniforms and travel expenses. And everyone took time off from work and busy schedules to make the practices and the games.
I've been so upset about my mistake. In all honesty, I am also so very embarrassed! I would rather just send Jude to the game without me, so that I can hide my face from all the coaches, parents and players, but that wouldn't be the right thing to do. I need to own it, without excuses, and apologize. I'd love to blame my headache, but it wasn't my headache. I'd love to blame the ump, but it wasn't the ump. I'd love to blame the rain delay for getting me off my book keeping game, but it wasn't the rain. It was me. It was my fault. I counted too quickly, then I didn't recount when questions arose. Will it be humiliating? Yes. I lost a game for our boys. No matter how humiliating it may be, going to the game and apologizing, then cheering the boys on, is the right thing to do.
I've learned a few things today. Take time to make certain it's right. Whether I'm counting runs or grading a test or putting together an appliance, I just need to slow down a bit and recheck my work. It's OK to take a little bit more time to get it right. My mistakes can affect others.
I also learned that just because someone agrees with me or I agree with someone else, doesn't mean we are right. Agreeing does NOT equate to right. I counted those runs quickly and because my number matched the ump's number, there was not a second thought into my accuracy. There were PLENTY of signs that I had made a mistake. Things didn't add up completely. But because the ump and I agreed on a number, I assumed it was right. It was very wrong.
Mistakes happen. And when they do, I'll apologize without minimizing the mistake or making excuses.
And since there's not a rewind button or a redo...Play ball.
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